Chance Meets Opportunity

“Chance favors the prepared mind.” ~ Louis Pasteur

In the pursuit of a fulfilled life there are moments that we feel as if it is going according to plan.  We are rowing our boats along the course and have done everything right, regardless we are still not reaching the final destitination.  If we gaze back too much at those moments in the past we will run ashore, if we stare too long at how others are doing we may run into them.  Instead we have to keep our eyes fixed on our destination with an understanding that we must be prepared.   Prepared for a bend in the river, a swift current or an idle current.  Life isn't according to our plan, instead it those that are prepared and open to new destintations that typically exceed their own expectations.  Keep an open mind, be prepared for every option and most of all, don't be so fixed on getting there that you don't enjoy the here and now.

Appearances

Maybe I’m a romantic who likes the way things used to be, but I miss the days when people would get really dressed up for a night at the theater. I wonder if the dress at such events has become more casual because back decades ago, it was only the upper-class who attended and now we all have the wonderful privilege of viewing the arts. To me, a night at the symphony, ballet or a Broadway show will always be an occasion to get a little dressed up.

It is not just our attire, but everything about us that can form an impression of how we view ourselves. My mother tells a story of an admired friend who advised her as a young bride that if she couldn’t keep her whole house clean, then at least always make sure her entry way was clean and inviting. That is where visitors will form their first impression and it will show you have pride in yourself and your home. I like that advice and to this day, my whole house can be a wreck, but my front rooms are almost always “presentable.” Take time to present the best you, a presentation that shows you matter. "You never get a second chance to make a first impression."

William Arthur Ward said: “If you can imagine it you can achieve it. If you can dream it, you can become it.”


Nonetheless, I am always surprised when I pose this question, “if money weren’t an issue what would you do” and the response is a blank stare. I always wondered at what point in life people decide that this is all there is, there is no point in dreaming, hoping, creating. Rather I will live content with whatever this may be. I am not saying to never be satisfied, if you are fulfilled with your life then maybe you have no need to dream bigger. However, I have met too many people that wait until the final curtain to say “what if?” There is no need to wait. If you have dreams then consider the possibilities. If you have a passion to do something why not just sketch it out on paper. Ask yourself, if money weren’t an issue what would I want to do with my time? Would I want to give back, pursue a hobby or coach a team? There are a million small ways we can begin to make a difference in our lives and begin to pursue our dreams and fulfill our purpose. The one sure way not to do it is to stop dreaming, stop imagining. Within each of us there is a seed of what we can do to make a difference here and if that seed reaches its potential is totally up to us. Ask yourself if money weren’t an issue what would you do?  Afterall what is the worst that can happen, you pursue and dream an it comes true.  Better then not considering it and then wondering "what if"

Greatness in Simplicity

Winston Churchill said, “All the great things are simple, and many can be expressed in a single word: freedom, justice, honor, duty, mercy, hope. “  Simple words can have such strong meaning and bring to mind some profound images.  When I think of the words Mr. Churchill described as simple, I think about the fact that they cannot be confused with anything else other than what they are and how they make you feel. There is no doubt what it means to be free, just, having honor, or a sense of duty.  Anyone who has had mercy shown them or felt hope in the day knows the purity of emotion that comes from those words cannot be mistaken as anything else.  When looking for something great, don’t be misled thinking it has to be something complex or complicated.  Great things are simple, plain, and easily expressed.

Action Creates Reactions

"The mark of a good action is that it appears inevitable in retrospect." ~ Robert Louis Stevenson

I was speaking with someone this week that was looking for a new career. In our discussion I asked if money weren’t an issue what would you do and he responded cook. I asked if he had thought about having a business that involved cooking and he told me about receipts he had created that had been inspired by his grandmother. As we talked I realized how far we are from how we are meant to live. We grow up and get jobs to make money and forget about pursuing our passions and hobbies. The next thing we know our kids are grown and our lives our half over and we wonder where did time go and what are we going to do with the rest of our lives. However, we can start today. What is it you love to do? Take my friend, he could put together a menu, a business plan and start looking for a place to open a restaurant. There is no cost to lay the idea out on paper. No cost to move towards what if and then you never know a door may open you never imagined. I flew to LA to meet with a Film Producer about our products, a week prior the idea of that had never crossed my mind. The outcome of that trip has yet to be decided however, I took the chance I opened the door. When we start to take action doors will open that make it seem as if it were always meant to be

Everyday Traditions

Traditions are not only for the holidays. Each day we routinely go through our day, doing things in somewhat the same manner. This consistency of family time, dinner time, and our pre-bedtime routine will become the traditions our children will perhaps one day carry into their own families. As I think about this, I think of the importance of creating this legacy of traditions based on my values that I want to pass down to my children.  There are the Sunday dinners, the family birthday celebrations and the long weekend traditions.  To some on the outside they may seem routine and warn out, but to our family they are the bonding traditions of childhood and memories of tomorrow.

Hold Guides Us

“Hope is faith holding out its hand in the dark.” ~ George Iles


Each of us must take our own path and in traveling that path the amount of darkness we encounter will vary. It is the darkness that makes us appreciate the light. When we are in the darkness we sometimes forget that it only needs to light for you to see your way. Claude Debussy said “Music is the silence between the notes.” The pause between the keys allows us to hear the music to feel the vibration of the rhythm. We must remember that our most aware moments are in silence it will help us to remain hopeful. To hold on to what can be with an open heart to how it will be. Hope is the core to all potential in life. If enables us to dream, to believe, to care, to love, to risk. Hope is the foundation of all that is possible, the seed that grows into our lives and braches out across the years and others lives.

With Purpose & Passion

What does it mean to give your whole heart to something, to know it is right without any doubt or reservation?  I believe that it means you are so totally committed to what you really want that you lose the desire for anything that will take you away from it. It is passion and focus rolled up in one and it has the power to drive you directly to whatever maters most.  When you find your passion, there is nothing that can keep you from it and there nothing that distracts you in another direction. “Above all, be true to yourself, and if you cannot put your heart in it, take yourself out of it.” – unknown

Friendship In Family

Everyone wants to know they are needed. That in some way they have made a difference in someone else’s life. Take the time to share your feeling with those that have been there for you.


One of the things in life I have found to be most difficult is to tell family how much they mean without it sounding planned or rehearsed or insincere. I’m not talking about your spouse or children, more your siblings or parents. We assume for the most part they know how we feel. After all, they have been in your life from the beginning. Yet there is never a perfect moment to say thanks for making my childhood more fun and mischievous; for the memories you would never want to remember, and those you couldn’t bear to forget. For being the one I looked up to when it seemed there was nobody else to believe in. For keeping me true to myself and the stories of the past from becoming too disproportional. For the push when I didn’t need it that helped me to be tough. For the smile when I didn’t deserve it to help me know life will always work out. For the courage to know when to leave, by doing it first and doing all you set out to do. I learned from you to go out on my own and you always supported my choices. In your eyes you see the same person you have always been, but in my eyes I see so much more than that. You once were my big sister and today are my dearest friend. Find your words and share them.
"Courtesy of But What Do We Know"

Into The Light

"We all get lost. Whether it's in sadness, love, peace, or chaos, it doesn't matter. Just to know how it feels, and to realize what it's like to finally find your way again is what's important. And when you do find your way, you know it. You feel it. Like the suns warming rays, like the mists of the oceans, you can tell. You have found your way out. And nothing can stop you from moving on." – Elaine Berndt

My friend’s daughter who is 15 wrote this when she was 11 years old. I think sometimes we underestimate the depth of thought and feeling by children. We all come to this world with an eternal soul, some perhaps more mature than others. Earlier today Cheryl posted something on Facebook asking our followers why they keep a journal. For this young girl it was the way to reflect on feelings much more poignant than she might have been able to express verbally. The message of this quote is quite profound too. Certainly everyone can relate to the painful feeling and then the warmth, elation or peace that comes from finding your way out of it.

Time Lost Is Gone Forever

I can not purchase it and nobody has more than anyone else so I must use my time wisely and make the most of it because once it is gone I can never get it back.



It amazes me how quickly time passes. As a child I used to wonder what adults meant by time rushing by. To me it was like every movement of the hands of the clock were going in slow motion. I am not sure exactly when it went from wondering such things as is this day going to end, to realizing that when this day ends it will never come my way again. Yet, somewhere in the last thirty years I have come to appreciate more the value in a moment. I’ve come to understand what wasted time means and to want to use time more carefully in order to become the person I was meant to be. To stop saying I’ll do it someday and to just do it. No matter what the outcome, I will make my dreams my reality. I will change the things I don’t like in myself even if only gradually becoming who I am meant to be a little more each day. Until one day I realize I lived my life on purpose; I fulfilled my dreams. I will stop blaming and start acknowledging that I got me where I am and I have the power to change or improve that.
"Courtesy of But What Do We Know"

Freedom of Choice

“Liberty is obedience to the law which one has laid down for oneself” -- Jean-Jacques Rousseau.  Often people associate being obedient as being restricted from something they really want but in reality, it is liberating.  A child who is obedient to a loving parent can be spared some of the dangers or heartache of disobedience.  Sometimes the natural consequence is unavoidable. There are certain laws of nature and science, for example, which are completely objective in their consequences.  If you don’t give yourself the proper rest or nutrition the body will become weak and eventually sick.  When we obey the laws of the land, we retain our liberty from the consequence of a fine or imprisonment.  When we adhere to a set of moral principles, either defined by our choice in religion or our own sense of right and wrong, we are free from the consequences of making mistakes that could negatively alter our lives.  It is in a way a higher sense of freedom to choose to be obedient to the laws governing life.  It is that obedience that gives us the ability to lay down the law for ourselves as the French philosopher Rousseau describes.  It is that obedience which has as its prize liberty.

Instict To Follow Intuition

“I feel there are two people inside me - me and my intuition. If I go against her, she'll screw me every time, and if I follow her, we get along quite nicely.” ~ Kim Basinger


Today I realized this strange ability I have had my entire life which my teenage daughter also has. It is the ability to have the truth revealed to us. Throughout most of my life I would have information come to me. Some of it was data I really needed however other times it has been information I would rather not know. When chatting with my daughter about this ability she has now come to realize she has I think we can chalk it up to intuition. When I follow my intuition I find that I am granted information. Again some of it is good, some bad, however, all information. What this has allowed me to do as a parent is to know when something is up with my daughter and address it. This has enabled us to discuss potential life altering situations prior to them becoming life altering situations. What it has done for my daughter is taught her to trust her instinct. This is something most of us don’t learn until much later in life, so to learn it at the age of 17 is a huge jump start on navigation of our lives. See we are born with intuition and then our parents, teachers and friends tell us what to think, how we should feel, what to do, and we silence that voice that would normally guide us. If you listen to the voice that says go the long way home, only to realize you avoided an accident, or stay late at work only to get that call from the client that closes that deal you have been working, then you find yourself feeling blessed or lucky. If you fail to listen to that voice that guides you then you may be one of those that feel as if you are always swimming against the current. Life and people all have their own agendas and it isn’t our place to tell them what their agenda should be, rather it is our place to align ourselves with individuals that also follow their intuition and are in alignment with our core values. In doing so we have less of the, “Oh man” intuition moments and more of the, “Wow am I lucky” intuition moments.

Everyone at one time or another in their life has felt they were wronged. It may have been on a large or small scale, but in order to move past it one thing must occur. There needs to be forgiveness.

I heard a news story years ago about a woman who had been kidnapped. She was beaten, tortured, raped, and starved for days and then left for dead on the side of the road. The ordeal left her blind. The interviewer asked her how she dealt with the anger she must be feeling at having been treated this way. She said she forgave her attacker. She stated that he took 72 hours of her life. If she did not forgive him, then he would take more of her life. Forgiveness not only heals, it allows us live our life. If we choose not to forgive we cannot move forward and we allow the person who wronged us once, to continue to hurt us. This applies even if, and maybe especially if, the person who has wronged us feels no remorse or is not asking for the forgiveness.
In light of recent news about bullying and how that has led to teens and young adults feeling so much pain they take their own lives, forgiveness is needed even more in this world. If we can teach our children that what others say about them doesn’t make them who or what they are, and to forgiving those who bully, maybe then we can give them the confidence to not let what others do and say affect their own actions.

An Education On Hope

According to Webster Dictionary the definition of HOPE is; 1. to wish for something with expectation of its fulfillment 2. To have confidence: TRUST, to expect to desire.

Examples of hope would be: I hope you do well on the test. I hope he/she likes me or asks me out. I hope you feel better soon. I hope we win the game.
Hope is the core everything we do. We awake and go about our day with hope. We hope to be on time, for no traffic, for a promotion, for understanding, for patience.

Where does hope come from? I believe we are all born with hope. As babies we saw something and tried. We tried to roll over, to crawl to walk and to talk. Then somewhere in life people begin to remove our hope. You will never make the team, if so-and-so didn't. You will never get into that school.  You will never fit in.

This week on the Ellen Show she called out for us to do something about bullies that have resulted in several teen suicide cases this month. We had one in our town. A 15-year-old decided to end it. Why? Because in his mind there was no hope.

What if our schools taught hope? There are countless individuals like Tony Robbins, Jack Canfield, Deepak Chopra to name a few that are centered on if you believe it, you can achieve it. There are countless true stories of the underdog team that wins. Why?Because they never lost hope. If we could teach our youth to have hope, to look for the potential, we would breathe a new life into them. In 2008, my brother-in-law took his life. He had a family, money, a career, and no life-threatening illness. Yet he had no hope, no purpose. Life is so large if we live it. There is no way we have time to experience all there is if we live to be 100, but definitely not if we end it at 15, 18 or anywhere under 100.

If you know someone that has lost their hope, help them light a flame of hope. Help them find something to move towards in their life to give them hope. Breathe hope into someone that has lost theirs. “Hope is to purpose as air is to life.” ~ Cheryl Nordyke

Deep Roots and Expanded Wings

"There are only two lasting bequests we can give our children... one is roots, the other wings." Steven R. Covey

In a CBS news report by Leslie Stahl a couple of years ago, she reported that scientists have been able to use our DNA to trace genetic roots back hundreds of years. Genealogy has been reported as one of America’s most popular hobbies. Knowing where someone came from is important to many, but more important is the knowledge of where we are going. My mom grew up as an Air Force brat and moved from place to place. Yet, they still considered Florida home since that is where they returned to any time they could. I, on the other hand, lived in the same house from the time I was 10 until I went off to school. My parents are still there. It is home. It is where my roots are. It is where the memories my family has of all of the holidays and Sunday dinners and birthday parties. But roots is not about being planted in a specific location, it is about being planted next to people who know you, love you and share a common bond. It is about knowing who you are as a person and how you relate to those around you. It is having the security of your past to propel you into the future you are creating.

What Is A Dream Without Action

"Take time to deliberate; but when the time for action arrives, stop thinking and go in." ~ Andrew Jackson

What sets those that dream big dreams and those that accomplish big dreams apart is action.  At some point the dream propelled them to action.  Not every action created the result that they wanted so then they stepped back and considered the situation and took another action.  Action is the bridge from what we want to do to what actually gets done.  Individuals like Walt Disney, Thomas Edison and Henry Ford to name a few took several tries to reach the results they wanted.  However, they never stopped learning and taking action.  We all dream of what we can do, where we can live what we can accomplish.  Then we come up with reasons why that will never happen to us.  We are too old, don't have the right education, aren't experienced enough.  So we take a dream and cover it with doubt and then wonder how is it that our dreams can't come true.  At 60 years old Allen Moore became the oldest football player at Mississippi's Holmes Community College.  He had a dream to return to being kicker in football and decided to take action on his dream.  So the idea of we are too old has been removed.  In 1707, Henrietta Johnston begins to work as a portrait artist in Charles Town (now Charleston), South Carolina, making her the first known professional woman artist in America.  For every situation there is a first.  Fear of the first is only another reason to not take action.  Action even the smallest step begins to move us from what we dream of doing to what we do.  Is there a dream you have?  If so is there something small you could do to begin to move you in the direction of that dream?  If so why not do it. 

Keep on Trying

Calvin Coolidge said, “Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful people with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan "press on" has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.”

Persistence really does pay off. It may feel at times like things are not happening according to the timetable that we have in our minds, but I have every confidence that things happen at just the right time for us. Sometimes there are steps along the way and delays that give us experience, teach us important lessons, strengthen us, and prepare us for the pending success. It isn’t easy to wait. We may not understand the purpose in having to wait at the time. Hindsight is 20/20. It may seem harder to achieve our goals than we thought it would be. We don’t often know the reasons until after the fact. All I do know is that most things in life that are worth having are worth working for and yes, sometimes waiting for.

Everything Starts From The Inside

“Faith sees a beautiful blossom in a bulb, a lovely garden in a seed, and a giant oak in an acorn.” ~ William Arthur Ward

The bulb planted in the soil will break its container and follow the sun up through the soil to bloom into a beautiful flower.  The acron is destroyed when it emerges as a seedling and trasverses the hard earth to reach the surface.  Nature is our teacher.  She gives us rebirth after a storm in the forest strikes lightening and burns.  She paints a rainbow after a hard rain.  Sometimes nature needed the fire to clear the earth, or the rain storm to quench the soil.  The fire started within the lightening strike and the rain strom from within the cloud.  For some reason we have come to believe we are who and where we are because of outside circumstances.  That it is who are parents were, where we were born, who our teachers were or are friends were that makes us who we are.  The reality is it is within us all to be great.  To emerge through life regardless of our circumstances and grow into a beautiful flower or a strong and vibrant tree.  We have the power within ourselves to reach towards the stars and the sky and spread our branches or peddles wide.  We need to release the notion that somehow we are a victim of our circumstances and understand when we take control of who we are and where we are in life, then and only then can we begin to break through and become our full potential.  It all begins with faith in what we can do and action on that faith.  You are beautiful and strong from the inside out.  Let yourself reach that potential.  Begin today from within to become all you can be. 

Seeing Beyond Appearances

There is a story of a couple that moved to a new neighborhood. Each day for weeks the woman would look out her window and comment on how the neighbor didn’t know how to do the laundry right. She was hanging dirty clothes on her line. This went on day after day with the same comments about how the woman next door didn’t know how to get her laundry clean. Then one morning it changed. The woman looked out her window and exclaimed, “Finally, she figured out how to get her clothes clean!” Then she wondered out loud to her husband about what could have changed. Her husband said, “She didn’t change anything. I just went out and washed our windows.”

Wayne Dyer said, “Judgments prevent us from seeing the good that lies beyond appearances.” Everyday we need to make judgments. We need to judge whether or not it is safe to pull out into the traffic or whether or not we should allow our children to go someplace or do something they have never done before. Those kind of judgments based on reasoning are intended to keep us safe and on the path we have chosen. It is when we judge others whom we are merely observing and have no direct impact on our own lives that we put ourselves at risk of hampering our own growth as a person because we are putting too much emphasis on what others appear to be rather than on areas where we need to change ourselves.