Appearances

Maybe I’m a romantic who likes the way things used to be, but I miss the days when people would get really dressed up for a night at the theater. I wonder if the dress at such events has become more casual because back decades ago, it was only the upper-class who attended and now we all have the wonderful privilege of viewing the arts. To me, a night at the symphony, ballet or a Broadway show will always be an occasion to get a little dressed up.

It is not just our attire, but everything about us that can form an impression of how we view ourselves. My mother tells a story of an admired friend who advised her as a young bride that if she couldn’t keep her whole house clean, then at least always make sure her entry way was clean and inviting. That is where visitors will form their first impression and it will show you have pride in yourself and your home. I like that advice and to this day, my whole house can be a wreck, but my front rooms are almost always “presentable.” Take time to present the best you, a presentation that shows you matter. "You never get a second chance to make a first impression."

Seeing Beyond Appearances

There is a story of a couple that moved to a new neighborhood. Each day for weeks the woman would look out her window and comment on how the neighbor didn’t know how to do the laundry right. She was hanging dirty clothes on her line. This went on day after day with the same comments about how the woman next door didn’t know how to get her laundry clean. Then one morning it changed. The woman looked out her window and exclaimed, “Finally, she figured out how to get her clothes clean!” Then she wondered out loud to her husband about what could have changed. Her husband said, “She didn’t change anything. I just went out and washed our windows.”

Wayne Dyer said, “Judgments prevent us from seeing the good that lies beyond appearances.” Everyday we need to make judgments. We need to judge whether or not it is safe to pull out into the traffic or whether or not we should allow our children to go someplace or do something they have never done before. Those kind of judgments based on reasoning are intended to keep us safe and on the path we have chosen. It is when we judge others whom we are merely observing and have no direct impact on our own lives that we put ourselves at risk of hampering our own growth as a person because we are putting too much emphasis on what others appear to be rather than on areas where we need to change ourselves.